Even though it is easy for me to follow this one simple piece of life's instruction in all areas of my child's life; the one area that this verse (Proverbs 19:18 kjv) is a REAL challenge for me is in my child's study habits and test results. It's very hard for me, because I have flashbacks EVERY SINGLE TIME of myself when my mom would be angry at me, lecture me, and punish me mostly about my school grades.
While I realize NOW how much my mom actually loved me, I had no idea during the time I was growing up. My mom was very hard on me about my schoolwork and grades. Those where the only areas in my life where I constantly disappointed her and felt worthless. The type of scolding I received from her did not improve my study habits...of which, I admit, I had none.
However, one lesson did stick with me. I learned through her ways that I would NOT treat my kids the same way. I learned that by flying off the handle, my children would be afraid of me and not trust me. By lack of inspiring words during a lecture of under-performance, I would be tearing down my child's confidence and self worth. Instead of learning, my child would be broken and fearful.
I'm not perfect. I find myself getting more heated than I should until I see the tears rolling down my child's face.That's when flashbacks of my reaction to my mom's scolding would enter my mind. I believe during those times, God intervenes on my son's behalf and shows me I am doing exactly what I vowed not to do. Then, I stop and take a breath while I scold myself harshly and try to find a way to rectify the damage I've inflicted through my words and actions.
I then explain to my son in a more sensible tone about how important his education and habits are and how he amazes me every day with how far along he has come in his reading and comprehension of his subjects that he excels in; reminding him that he is never a disappointment and never to believe he is worthless.
At that point, his tears subside and he is more willing to listen. His posture changes from cringing to sitting with his arms and legs more relaxed while he scoots closer to me for comfort and assurance of my love for him.
While it is easy for me to follow this one simple piece of life's instruction in all areas of my child's life; the one area that this verse is a REAL challenge for me is in my child's study habits and test results. It's very hard for me, because I have flashbacks EVERY SINGLE TIME of myself when my mom would be angry at me, lecture me, and punish me mostly about my school grades.
I am not trying to be his best friend...I simply want him to know his worth and my love for him as well as giving him the encouragement he needs to go in the right direction. He's going to be 10 years old tomorrow, and I need to remember that no matter how advanced he is in his schoolwork, he is still a child who should be enjoying the simple, oh so short years of being a child.
This week is Thanksgiving vacation. I've decided to concentrate more on helping my son develop better study habits and to remind myself that no matter how my son does on one test, it's more important to teach him HOW to live his life rather than HOW MUCH education he can fill in his mind.
Even (
😫) if he drops into the 70's in History...... .honoring GOD is the main goal...not high marks in some subject.
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